Old world charm No bath
Tropical Rainy
Majestic setting A long way from town
Options galore Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered roomswinds Already occupied
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees No extras
Nominal fee Outrageous charge
Standard Sub-standard
Deluxe Standard
Superior One free shower cap
All the amenities Two free shower caps
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes Occasional Gale-force 
Light and airy No air conditioning
Picturesque Theme park nearby
Open bar Free ice cubes