THE LORD'S PRAYER
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, "Your eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate 100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee'."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord it must not be changed."
Well," says the Nescafe man, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to 300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee'."
Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate 500 million - that's half a billion quid - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee'. Please consider it." and he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.....The good news is that the Church will come into 500 million."
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Hovis Account"