YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN 2024 WHEN...
1. | You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. |
2. | You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. |
3. | You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. |
4. | You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you. |
5. | Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses. |
6. | When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner. |
7. | When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line. |
8. | You've sat in the same building for four years and worked for three different companies |
10. | Your CV is on a disk in your pocket. |
11. | You learn about your redundancy on the 11o'clock news. |
12. | Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes. |
13. | Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job. |
14. | Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards. |
15. | Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined. |
16. | Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary. |
17. | Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet. |
18. | Your boss gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, but you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up. |
19. | Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital. |
20. | There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy. |
21. | Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers". |
22. | Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your new-born so she can create a screensaver. |
23. | You pull up in your own drive and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is at home. |
24. | Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen. |
25. | Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have for the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. |
26. | Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning. |
27. | You consider second class post painfully slow. |
28. | Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. |
29. | Your idea of being organised is multiple-coloured Post-it notes. |
30. | You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. |
31. | You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls |
32. | You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. |
33. | You get up in the morning and go online before breakfast. |
34. | You wake up at 2:00 AM to use the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed. |
35. | You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) |
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE... | |
36. | You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling. |
37. | As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends" |
38. | You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net. |
39. | AND YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO NO. 9 |