YOU KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN 2017 WHEN...


1.   You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2.   You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.   You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4.   You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5.   Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6.   When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7.   When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
8.   You've sat in the same building for four years and worked for three different companies
10.   Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.
11.   You learn about your redundancy on the 11o'clock news.
12.   Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
13.   Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
14.   Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
15.   Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
16.   Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
17.   Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
18.   Your boss gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, but you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
19.   Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
20.   There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
21.   Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
22.   Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your new-born so she can create a screensaver.
23.   You pull up in your own drive and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is at home.
24.   Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
25.   Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have for the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
26.   Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
27.   You consider second class post painfully slow.
28.   Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
29.   Your idea of being organised is multiple-coloured Post-it notes.
30.   You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
31.   You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls
32.   You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
33.   You get up in the morning and go online before breakfast.
34.   You wake up at 2:00 AM to use the bathroom and check your e-mail on your way back to bed.
35.   You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...

36.   You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
37.   As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends"
38.   You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
39.   AND YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO NO. 9