PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS

Ponder these questions when you don't want to think about important stuff!
  1. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
  2. Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
  3. What do chickens think we taste like?
  4. Why is abbreviation such a long word?
  5. What do you call a male ladybird?
  6. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
  7. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  8. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  9. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  10. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquour when you can't drink and drive?
  11. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  12. Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
  13. Why are cigarettes sold at petrol stations where smoking is prohibited?
  14. Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
  15. How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?
  16. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
  17. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
  18. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
  19. If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
  20. If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
  21. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
  22. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
  23. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
  24. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
  25. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
  26. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  27. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  28. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
  29. If you throw a cat out of the house, does it become kitty litter?
  30. If aspirins are always "Take Two," why not increase the size of ONE?